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amused
It's kind of like a train wreck. I just cannot look away from the ghastly hot mess that is Twilight. And the squealing mess that is the fandom. WHY WHY WHY do I continue to spam myself with things I do not need in my life?!
Ahem. But I found refuge in the black obyss. The fabulous writers at Vanity Fair share my twisted mock/fuzzy delight.
On Bella and Charlie:
A teenage “adult child” of divorce, Isabella Swan—everybody calls her Bella—migrates from the glassy sprawl of Phoenix, Arizona, to move in with her father, a police chief who watches a lot of sports on TV in lieu of having a personality.
On Edward:
Presumably flossing after every forest kill (ecologically correct, Edward feeds in the wild only on four-legged predators not on the endangered-species list), this immortal vial of pure mystique is a dental hygienist’s delight: “He smiled widely, flashing a set of perfect, ultrawhite teeth.”
AND
Here it is not a haughty man with the secret hurt that makes him vulnerable and attainable, but a beautiful boy at the peak of his slender translucence, which gives “The Twilight Saga” a gay crossover appeal.
www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2008/1
GAH. FILM, YOU WASTED YOUR HOTNESS POTENTIAL. DAMN YOU!
Ahem. But I found refuge in the black obyss. The fabulous writers at Vanity Fair share my twisted mock/fuzzy delight.
On Bella and Charlie:
A teenage “adult child” of divorce, Isabella Swan—everybody calls her Bella—migrates from the glassy sprawl of Phoenix, Arizona, to move in with her father, a police chief who watches a lot of sports on TV in lieu of having a personality.
On Edward:
Presumably flossing after every forest kill (ecologically correct, Edward feeds in the wild only on four-legged predators not on the endangered-species list), this immortal vial of pure mystique is a dental hygienist’s delight: “He smiled widely, flashing a set of perfect, ultrawhite teeth.”
AND
Here it is not a haughty man with the secret hurt that makes him vulnerable and attainable, but a beautiful boy at the peak of his slender translucence, which gives “The Twilight Saga” a gay crossover appeal.
www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2008/1
GAH. FILM, YOU WASTED YOUR HOTNESS POTENTIAL. DAMN YOU!
Really! It's not like R.Pat is a terrible actor. In fact, he shows great insight:
What did you do to prepare for your role?
I basically spent two months thinking, “O.K., how can I play this character like he is written and be absolutely nothing like him in real life? How can I get away from the most major aspect of his description—his appearance?” As it is written from Bella’s perspective, she describes him in this obsessively lustful way. She does not see a single flaw in him at all. It’s a very traditional aspect of first or young love. So, it took me ages to think of it, but it ended up being really simple: if you are in love with someone, you can’t see any flaw in the other person. So I finally figured out that I didn’t have to play the most beautiful man on the planet, but just play a man in love.
Aww. Someone give this man a hug.
KT on Bella:
"She just trusts the shit out of herself."
T.Laut:
LIKES IRON MAN JUST LIKE I DO!
They all seem like such nice, interesting people. Too bad the film kind of sucked.
AND THANK GOD FOR:
http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/672553.h
and
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m15m .</lj>
What did you do to prepare for your role?
I basically spent two months thinking, “O.K., how can I play this character like he is written and be absolutely nothing like him in real life? How can I get away from the most major aspect of his description—his appearance?” As it is written from Bella’s perspective, she describes him in this obsessively lustful way. She does not see a single flaw in him at all. It’s a very traditional aspect of first or young love. So, it took me ages to think of it, but it ended up being really simple: if you are in love with someone, you can’t see any flaw in the other person. So I finally figured out that I didn’t have to play the most beautiful man on the planet, but just play a man in love.
Aww. Someone give this man a hug.
KT on Bella:
"She just trusts the shit out of herself."
T.Laut:
LIKES IRON MAN JUST LIKE I DO!
They all seem like such nice, interesting people. Too bad the film kind of sucked.
AND THANK GOD FOR:
http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/672553.h
and
m15m .</lj>I'm going to go back into the pit now...
EDIT: My god, there's even a snarkipedia... cleoland.pbwiki.com/Twilight#GrowingUpCu
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you read part of but never finished.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them.
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell --Unfortunately
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez <- Love it!
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
I'm actually a little sad that I haven't heard of some of these before...
When school gets you down, it's good to know that the universe won't.
BIRD: Oh, Bee. I've never— Not on a first— Oh, Bee.
"Mad-cow is the new syphilis," I said. "If you want to be an artist, you better eat some mad-cow."
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